Memo from Dave C: All Holiday Leave is Cancelled

IT seems some spoil sport at Conservative Central Office has gone and cancelled all summer leave (the big cheese himself perhaps?).

There can't be any other reason why the Blues are appearing on our TVs and in our newspapers nearly every day of the week.

With Labour MPs laying low, the Tories really have cranked up their policy output, knowing full well that they've basically got the whole news agenda to themselves until the end of the month.

Unfortunately for the poor lambs, that's a double-eged sword as it means there's no convenient excuse for getting out of all those summer fairs and garden parties.

As a result, I bet next year's MPs' allowances list will read something like this:

Suncream allowance £0
Raffle ticket money allowance - £5,000
Stress management course allowance - £20,000

In all seriousness though, it's a smart move doing it this way because if there is a snap election, then they'll be ready.

But knowing Gordon Brown, he'll employ his Euro stalling tactics and only call an election once the following 'key tests' have been met:

1) His opinion poll rating is 20 points more than David Cameron's
2) He knows that Tony Blair will be out of the country
3) It's just a few weeks after a surprising 'giveaway' budget
4) The John Redwood clip of him humming the Welsh National Anthem has been copied onto DVD and posted through every household in the UK

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